We’re all in this together

Before I get into this post, let me clarify, I don’t hate myspace. In fact I don’t see anything wrong with meeting people from the website. Its a great way to network and re-connect with old friends all while making new ones. But let me give you some advice, if you’re looking to pick up girls you should probably read this post.

Lately my myspace has had an influx of random emails from people I’ve never met. Usually I just disregard them and go on with my day, but some of these are to funny NOT to share.

The first email comes from Chad:

Hey there. I came across your page, and i think you are hott! I would love to get to know you. Maybe we could chat? My IMs are luvbusts@__.com, luvyerbusts@___.com, luvbusts@__.com or luvyerbusts@___.com. What is your IM? Please get back to me.

While I’m flattered that you think I am “hott!” your screen names are a little too boob-tastic for my liking. While I myself can appreciate a nice rack, you might be a little obsessed.

The second email comes from Matt:

i bet u hear this all the time but i cant help my self to say this OMG U R SO GORGEOUS

Again, thank you for telling me that I’m “SO GORGEOUS” but really, How many different girls did you send this to? also? “OMG” and “U R” not so impressive. I like a man who can spell out his three letter words.

Finally we have Leon who was thoughtful to say “hey beautiful” in the subject line

are u still single do i have a chance with you

Oh sweet Leon. Sweet Sweet Leon. While I’m glad you didn’t try to lure me in with a plethora of compliments, you probably shouldn’t ever ask a girl if you “have a chance”

So there you have it. Mallory’s myspace dating advice. Guys, all you have to do is be polite and thoughtful. And by thoughtful all i mean is maybe call her once in awhile? ask her how her day is? Nothing too complicated.

Have a good’un

Call me George Foreman cuz I’m sellin everybody grillz

Seriously. I adore this kid.

Mallory says:
so how is your house?
Scott says:
so i was just in the bathroom
Scott says:
and we were out of toilet paper
Scott says:
and so i yelled out for one of my roomates to bring me some
Scott says:
and then one of them yelled back and said “be a man! use your hand!”
Scott says:
so i yelled back, “can i use your hand instead?”
Scott says:
and then he brought me toilet paper
Scott says:
that’s all
Mallory says:
that is going on my blog.
Mallory says:
thats all.
Scott says:
oh man, pete ashdown might read it…that’ll be embarrasing

Just wanna feel attractive today

I can only blog in forms of lists lately. Hope you don’t mind…

Things that must go:

1. Calling your boss and saying “Hi! This is Mallory from the Ashdown for Senate campaign… Oh crap! Craig!! I’m at work!! Ugh! mumble.. ughh sorry about that”
2. People that sit in their cars outside my window and see me act as if I would if I were by myself. NOT COOL
3. Three Days Grace. I think I’ve said this before.. but honestly, Raise Your Voice.. NEED I SAY MORE?
4. Shamelessly checking my phone for text messages every three minutes to find nothing there
5. Shamelessly checking my email/myspace/blog for messages/comments etc to find nothing
6. My current photo assignment.
7. Orrin Hatch
8. Technicians that call up and say “Hey Mallory I’m going to be late, there was a huge accident on the freeway and BODY PARTS ARE EVERYWHERE! because that? is gross.
9. People who intentionally pop their various joints just to gross me out. Because yes. like five different people do that.
10. Excessive pretzels in my chex mix
11. PrettyInPink, PowderPrincess, AsianPie, and other various girls on myspace inviting me to their “sexy cam” site.
12. Green day.

So. for the record? blog is meant for you to laugh at… So don’t feel like you need to take pity on me. Unless you want to buy me a present or something to make me “feel better.” Because really? Presents are always good.

Have a good’un

Blind man on a canyon’s edge of a panoramic scene

So this is a blatant rip off of Sarah’s post. Judge me if you must.

Things that make me happy:

• Comfy Sweaters, hoodies, or anything else that is over sized and warm
• Watching Lisa and Sarah look through Marci’s Victoria’s Secret catalog
• Getting free ice cream at Crown Burger
• Crown Burger in general really..
• Finding out that my favorite photographer is having an exhibition
• Fun and thoughtful first dates involving flowers and conversation
• Random Myspace messages and friend requests
• Center Stage
• Chai Tea
• Thoughtful emails from friends and family
• The darkroom
• Shouting HOME WRECKER!! at the top of your lungs
• The Manbase song and dance
• Staring off into space at 3 in the morning
• ICEEs. They’re delicious.
• Third Eye Blind, Ben Folds, and Blur. They seem to make everything feel better

Have a good’un

Its time for a depressing post! WOO HOO! oh… wait. So yeah, two years ago on Tuesday marks the 2 year anniversary of my Dad’s death. Although, I suppose today could be viewed as the anniversary because it happened on a Sunday. I think its becoming a tradition for me to re-asses and evaluate my life at this time of the year, which is probably a good thing. I think I’ve grown immensely in this past year. Going up to the U and making new friends has changed my all or none attitude that I held so strongly to, and I can’t even begin to tell you how good it feels to not be afraid anymore. Yesterday while at breakfast with Marci, we were talking about how happy we are now socially, and I realized I don’t think I have ever been happier than I am at this current time (knock on wood). Everything is amazing. I love my job. I love School and my major. I love feeling apart of an important campaign. I love my family. I am friends with the most amazing people I have ever met, some who I’ve known since i was in 4th grade, some who have been through things I can’t even imagine, some who are willing to be wacky and fun at one moment, and then drop everything at the next because I need to cry about something, some who I’ve never even met but know I can always count on for anything. I don’t know what I did to be so lucky. but I’m glad that I am.

I still miss my dad every day.

I hate it that things turned out the way they did, and I hate it that he couldn’t get better. I hate it that he’ll never see me succeed, that he’ll never see my first showing. I hate it that he doesn’t know my friends and I hate it that he’ll never know my boyfriends. I hate it that he won’t walk me down the aisle if I ever get married. I hate it that he can’t take Mikey and me camping, or hiking or to the Mountain Men Rendezvous. I hate it because he shouldn’t be dead. I think that everything happens for a reason, but I hate it that its so unfair.

But like I said earlier, I am so lucky to be where I am today.

Have a good’un

Where were you when we were getting high?

So… yeah I shouldn’t be allowed near a computer when I only get 2-4 hrs of sleep. (For the past 3 nights..)

Me: hmm the uniform guy just dropped off the uniforms for my technicians.. and his name is Walter. I’ve never known a Walter.. but always wanted to.
D: LOL
D: what about Walter E Disney?
Me: I don’t know him PERSONALLY
D: LOL we’ll have to remedy that
Me: I want a friend named Walter who I can call up and be like “hey wally what’s shakin?” because I mean, who’s life wouldn’t be improved by being able to say that?

Good thing I’m keeping it professional with the campaign. In my embarrassment I related the story to Sarah. To which she replied:

Sarah says: um did you know I have a body part I’ve named wally? because um. I do.
Sarah says: he can be your friend
Mallory says: um. what part is that?
Sarah says: I’m not sure what he is
Sarah says: which is why he is wally?
Sarah says: hee
Mallory says: can I CALL HIM ON THE TELEPHONE AND SAY HEY WALLY WHAT ‘S
COOKIN GOOD LOOKIN?
Sarah says: hee yes
Sarah says: and he’ll be all “hey mally! what’s shakin!”

Clearly the caffeine hasn’t kicked in yet…

Have a good’un

All the colors mix together- to grey

Whoa

When did it become October?

Are you registered to vote yet? THAT MEANS YOU SARAH!

So I’ve been sending out this message as emails, Myspace bulletins , etc etc. Thought I’d put it here too.

REGISTER TO VOTE!
have a good’un

As some of you know, I’m volunteering for the Pete Ashdown for Senate Campaign this year. This year’s election is just as important, (if not more important) as a presidential election. Please make sure you’re registered to vote so you can be heard. I received the following message that contains information on how to register to vote if you aren’t already registered. If you haven’t decided who you are voting for yet, you can find a list of all the candidates running at:

http://www.elections.utah.gov/2006candidates.htm.

As you probably guessed, I will be voting for Pete Ashdown for US Senate, he’s a great candidate and I urge you to check out his website (www.peteashdown.org) Let me know if you need anymore information!

Please forward this to your friends so we can get as much representation as we can on Nov. 7. I know I haven’t kept in touch with you all, but I hope you’re all doing well! If you have a free second, let me know how you are doing!
Thanks!
Mallory

Election Day – November 7, 2006 – Vote for Pete from 7:00 A.M. to 8 P.M.
You MUST be registered to vote. The deadline for registration of mail-in entries is a postmark of October 7th.

Locations to register:
Pete Ashdown for U.S. Senate Office
780 East South Temple
Salt Lake City, UT 84101

At your County Clerk’s Office

White Pages, located at the end of the blue government section. This form can be photocopied.

Not perfect, not too hip…but we need lovin’ too

So this week is fall break. And that? Is awesome. What am I going to do with all my spare time? I’m not sure yet, but the fact that I don’ t have to sit through 2 hours of art history on Friday makes me want to squeal with delight. So Yeah. Friday night? I have no plans. Call me and we should hang out. It will be great, trust me. So how have you been? I feel like I should post more often, since my blog is so popular nowadays. Thank you to all who commented on my last post, It made my day, if not my week. However just because I feel like I should post more often doesn’t mean I will, I’m really not that interesting of a person.. I bet you would all like to hear me recount what happens to me on a daily basis. (and today, at work I processed invoices. Then I went to school and discussed cubism. Then I drove home and sang along with the radio. Ate dinner. Went to bed.)

So have you visited http://www.twolooseteeth.com/ lately? Because you might want to check that out. Sarah speaks the truth. I do declare, I need to be asked out. And not by some creepy ass man who comes stumbling out of a bar at 230 in the afternoon into my frame. (I was doing a shoot in a back alley) While I’m flattered that you think that we could “have a really good time together” 1)You’re fifty 2) you’re wasted at 230 in the afternoon 3)YOU ARE FIFTY and my boyfriend doesn’t like the way you’re speaking to me. Well at least he wouldn’t if he existed. He’s so thoughtful. If only he were real…

Okay kiddies, I’d better get back to work, but before I go:

• Have you registered to vote yet? You need to by the end of this week. Contact me if you need any information or whateva
• Went to muse last week. It was pretty amazing. Checkout http://www.twolooseteeth.com/ for more details (two plugs in one entry that site MUST be sweet!)
• Science of Sleep=confusing but visually stimulating movie
• I have a Weird Al song stuck in my head and I’m considering gouging out my eyes.

Have a good’un