Pardon me while I burst…

New Years is always a time for self reflection, as is one’s birthday, so this time of year I tend to get a teensy bit depressed. I’ve decided that 22 is one of the more depressing ages to turn. I know I’m not old per se, but what’s so exciting about 22? 18, 19, 20 and 21 are all exciting in their own ways, but 22? 22 is the first year that it isn’t fun to have a birthday. The first year that you actually feel older, the first year you think “man I thought I’d be so much farther along by now.” I dunno, do you ever feel like you are nowhere near where you thought you’d be by now? Yeah.. Me neither.

Anyways living in your mom’s basement, being eternally single, and only having 3 years until you get your bachelors isn’t ALL bad. I mean I have no real commitments, I get free food, and I can really do whatever I please. Plus I’m really fond of my little brother, and if I were to move out// have a boyfriend that would definitely cut into my much needed Mikey time. Right?

Whatever. So here are my New Year Resolutions:
1) Lose weight (really is there any other resolution?)
2) Be Financially responsible (another tried and true resolution)
3) Go to New York
4) Rediscover my love for Photography… or change my major.

Sorry about the not so peppy post- but no worries, I’ll be back to normal in no time.

Have a good’un

I’ll give you the red light special…

I had the following conversation with my good buddy Eli earlier today about me wanting a Nintendo Wii. Unfortunately my after holiday budget won’t allow me to purchase one…

Mallory says:
maybe I can just whore myself out
Mallory says:
and play the wii that way
Eli says:
well that’s always a good solution
Eli says:
and it’s win-win
Eli says:
fun for fun
Eli says:
…?
Mallory says:
seriously.
Mallory says:
maybe I should put an ad on craig’s list or something
Eli says:
haha
Eli says:
declaring what?
Eli says:
‘will make personal sex slave for wii‘
Mallory says:
pretty much
Mallory says:
maybe I’ll just put an announcement on my blog.

So um… let me know if you’re interested I guess?

Have a good’un.

Have a Holly Jolly Christmas!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!! So every year Mikey and I go through great lengths to wrap each other’s gifts. Here’s a recap of what happened this morning-

Obviously by the size of the box you can tell that Mikey bought me a gift card.

Mikey has an unfair advantage becuase he still work at The UPS Store (as a non-temp) so he gets a discount on packing materials.

After about 40 minutes of unwrapping…

Seriously that was all from my ONE gift.

Don’t worry though, I got him back.

First I wrapped a light up donkey (and cigar) and put it under the tree. I wrapped it about 20 times, to throw him off-

After he opened that gift, I informed him there was a second gift for him in the garage…

I might have burried a book and a video game in a tub of sand…

Hee best Christmas Ever.

Have a good’un

And I look up at the sky

Not a lot of time to blog today. BUT thanks to Dave (click his name its a legit link this time) I am officially the owner of http://www.nothingcreativetoday.com/. So tell all your friends how cool my site is.

I have also officially posted THE LIST. Feel free to give me suggestions on what I should add to it.

Have a good’un

What’s the use in worry?

So I haven’t been blogging as much as I should, and I’m sorry but seriously I have been really busy with the most mundane tasks. All work and no play makes Mallory a dull girl? I think so.

As you may or may not know, I have returned to The UPS Store for the holiday season, and man, I’m getting too old for this. Luckily the worst of it is over- hopefully you’ve shipped out all your Christmas gifts because if you need to send them.. YOU’RE TOO LATE! So take that!!! Yeah.. I forgot about how trying it is to work retail during the holiday season. On behalf of all those employed in the realm of customer service/retail, please be nice to your cashier/customer service representative. Because seriously, some days, bitchy customers make me want to run into the bathroom and cry.

Anyways, asides from working and becoming lame, nothing is really going on. The semester is officially over so that is pretty awesome. I think I did okay overall, but not as well as I wanted to. I’m really glad last semester is over, while I learned a ton, it was pretty difficult. However I have a new renewed love for modern art, and am once again considering changing my major… I’m gonna give photo one more semester and we’ll see how I feel in May I guess. But that’s another post entirely.

Well kiddies, I’d better get back to work, but I just thought I’d stop by and say hi. Rumor has it I bought www.nothingcreativetoday.com and my good friend Dave is helping me set it up. I’ll let you know what happens with that.

Have a good’un

B-A-N-A-N-A-S

Okay this is important. Which would you prefer?

Yellow and delicious?

or Green and disgusting?

Leave a comment.

Have a good’un

This could be love…

So I’ve liked the song “This Could be Love” for quite awhile now, but just realized how the words actually go. Um yeah.. The lead singer totally sat in his own fecal matter for days.

That really is love.

or disgusting..

I’ve got a book of matches
I’ve got a can of kerosene
I’ve got some bad ideas involving you and me
I don’t blame you for walking away
I touched myself at thoughts of flames
I shat the bed and laid there in it
Thinking of you wide awake for days
Wide awake for days

And I found you tongue-tied ;my twisted little brain
You couldn’t crack a smile
I didn’t catch your name
I don’t blame you for walking away
I’d do the same if I saw me
I swear it’s not contagious
In four short steps we can erase this

Step one — slit my throat
Step two — play in my blood
Step three — cover me in dirty sheets and run laughing out of the house
Step four — stop off at Edgebrook Creek and rinse your crimson hands
You took me hostage and made your demands
I couldn’t meet them so you cut off my fingers, one by one…
One by one…

I’m like a broken record
I’ve got a needle scratching me
It injects the poisons of alcohol I.V.
I don’t blame you for walking away
I’d do the same if I saw me
I swear it’s not contagious
I swear to God it’s not contagious

Step one — slit my throat
Step two — play in my blood
Step three — cover me in dirty sheets and run laughing out of the house
Step four — stop at Lake Michigan and rinse your crimson hands
You took me hostage and made your demands
I couldn’t meet them so you cut off my fingers, one by one

This could be love – love for fire
This could be love – love for fire
This could be love for fire forevermore

Step one — slit my throat
Step two — play in my blood
Step three — cover me in dirty sheets and run laughing out of the house
Step four — stop at Berkley Marina and rinse your crimson hands
You took me hostage, made your demands
I couldn’t meet them so you cut off my fingers, one by one
One by one

Have a good’un