We’ll float on good news is on the way

I will have you know, I have already typed up this post… but then through a stroke of bad luck my computer deleted the entire entry. I’ve basically been cursing since noon today, but have now decided to re-post. But I’ll have you know, the first entry was probably better and I am truly sorry that you my dear, dear fans will never get to see it.

First of all Tif has a blog. And you should add that to the list of blogs you check out. She’s pretty cool. She likes sushi and we are going to watch about five hundred thousand movies (give or take a couple) before the summer comes. Anyway, like I said, check it out.

I am still really ticked off that my earlier post was deleted. Grrr

Secondly I’d like to publicly announce that I have had a change of heart when it comes to the band Modest Mouse. When I was in high school somebody told me that Jeremy Beckham loved Modest Mouse. Somebody also told me that Jeremy Beckham listened to music that talks about killing babies or something. For some reason I always chose to believe that the band being referenced was in fact Modest Mouse. Which I suppose it could be, but I’ve recently re-discovered the CD Good News for People Who Hate Bad News, and it is good my friends. So. Good.

I’ll have you know that when the song “Float On” was playing on the radio I wanted to rip my hair out and scratch my eyes until they bled. That song can now be found on my myspace. I feel a little bit of shame, but mostly I am filled with worry. I’m worried that in 2 or 3 years I will be writing another post about some band that I currently hate right now. If I end up writing a post about how I love My Chemical Romance, The Killers, or Fallout boy I may end up hanging myself. Just sayin.

Anyway, You should check out the CD, Its pretty good especially if you are in a bad mood and looking for something to identify with. It is a much healthier alternative to tagalong ice cream, and its more fiscally responsible than going on a shopping spree that you can’t afford. Anyways I’ll put some excerpts from a couple songs at the end of this post.

Have a good’un

(From Ocean Breathes Salty)
The ocean breathes salty, won’t you carry it in?
In your head, in your mouth, in your soul.
The more we move ahead the more we’re stuck in rewind.
Well I don’t mind. I don’t mind. How the hell could I mind?
Well that is that and this is this.
You tell me what you want and I’ll tell you what you get.
You get away from me. You get away from me.
Well that is that and this is this.
Will you tell me what you saw and I’ll tell you what you missed,
when the ocean met the sky.
You wasted life, why wouldn’t you waste the afterlife?

(The World at Large)
I like songs about drifters – books about the same.
They both seem to make me feel a little less insane.
Walked on off to another spot.
I still haven’t gotten anywhere that I want.
Did I want love? Did I need to know?
Why does it always feel like I’m caught in an undertow?

Unintended

On Feb. 19th my Aunt’s mother passed away, and Saturday was her funeral. For some reason I had a really hard time with it. Maybe I was just looking for an excuse to cry, or maybe it brought back really painful memories. This is the first funeral I’ve been to in since October, 2004. It is insane how much you forget, and even more insane is how it all comes back in an instant. Little things like cloth covered folding chairs at the graveside, hearing my Grandfather speak, and family prayers brought back so many memories. I couldn’t help but empathize.

Combine that with some personal drama, and that makes for one overwhelming weekend. While this past weekend was particularly rough, I’m really lucky to know what things will always make me feel better.

• Talking to my Mom at 3:00 AM
• “Dropping by” to certain friends’ house, even if it is at 1 in the morning and they’re not expecting me
• Being able to look back and see how far I’ve come, it’s really empowering sometimes
• New Shoes
• Surprise visits from my family
• Tagalong ice cream. Dude its frigging good.
• New gadgets
• Singing to the radio with Mikey
• Watching stupid TV shows with Mikey
• Eating Ice cream with Mikey
• New Purses
• Spending time with a new friend
• Seeing siblings I don’t see nearly enough
• Spending time with my extended family and realizing it’s importance
• New CDs

Okay, I’ll end my sappy post now… And I’ll start being funny again soon. Thanks for bearing with me.

Have a good’un

Everything will change…

Yeah I’ve posted three times today. So what? Maybe I just need to express myself okay? STOP JUDGING ME!

I just thought you should know that I’ve come up with a tentative life plan. It sort of came to me last night while I was performing my ritual of staying up entirely too late dwelling on every aspect of my life. You know how it goes. STOP JUDGING ME JEEZE.

Anyway, I’m going to finish up my BFA at the good ol‘ University of Utah. But instead of cramming nine classes into two semesters, I’m going to spread it out over 3 semesters, the last of which will be a printmaking class in Europe. Yep. I’ve decided to go abroad, because I need to. I figure this way I will see if Europe is what I want for my future, and from there i can decide if I want to do the grad school thing, which I’m sure I will. I’ll take a year off between Europe and Grad school to get my affairs in order (ie finances, actually move out of my mom’s basement, work etc).

So there you go. I have direction again.

Have a good’un

Your head’ll collapse if there’s nothing in it

I really am still a photographer… I don’t know why it’s been so long since I posted a photograph… I shot this for one of my photography classes and had a lot of fun doing it. It was a studio assignment and I got to use the departments Hasselblad Camera which in itself was a religious experience. Anyway I underexposed the film… but I still sort of like it. It’s not that bad considering I was in a completely foreign setting, (new camera, new lighting, new film etc)
Have a good’un

My name is Mud

As promised, here is the post about MUDFEST 2007!

Last week my very very good friend Scott asked me if Mikey and and I would like to go mudding up at 5-mile pass. Of course we said yes.

Have a good’un

Hide it in the pantry with your cupcakes

All my friends are getting blogs, it’s sort of awesome. Soon, we will have a huge ring of blogs, and we will take over the internet. One webpage at a time. In the meantime, check out Jake’s blog. He’s nice. And likes Lost. A lot.

Have a good’un,

Clang clang clang went the trolley

So, after telling me what to do with my life you should check out Jeremy’s blog. Because it’s funny. And I like him. So go. GO NOW!

Have a good’un

…It makes me kind of nervous to say so

So before I start blabbing on, I would just like to say that I am planning on posting new pictures and preparing another post in honor of “MUD FEST.” So worry not my dear dear Scott and Jeremy. Your requests haven’t gone unheard… I am just rarely at a computer that I can actually process them. (Translation: every digital photograph I own is on my computer at home, which I rarely use to post blogs)

Anyway prepare to have your mind blown. I have NINE courses left until I get my BFA. NINE COURSES. Like… TWO SEMESTERS. ONE YEAR and I’m a college graduate. Freaking. In. Sane. So you know how like ten or so posts ago I was bitching about how I feel like I’m not far enough in my life? Well um, I don’t feel that way today and I’m sort of terrified on what to do once I complete my time at the University of Utah. I’ve been toying around with a couple ideas on what to do and here’s what I’ve come up with so far:

1) Join the Peace Corps. I’ve always thought it would be something I could really get into. I could see the world, (at least part of it) and do a lot of good. The only set back is its a 27 month program, and as selfish as it sounds, I don’t know if I am willing to give up that much of my life. Also I have heard mixed reviews on the Peace Corps experience. Some of my friends have really loved it, while others haven’t. I think where you get to serve plays a crucial role in the Peace Corps Experience

2) Internship Abroad. This would be a really great experience. Not only would I get to see and live in a different part of the world, but I could also get some really great Photography experience. Set backs include the cost of doing something like that and the distance away from family and friends.

3) Grad School. Beneficial for obvious reasons. I want to be a college Prof eventually and I will have to have my MFA in order to do so. After looking at various programs, I have decided that I have a lot of options but will ultimately have to go to school out of state, which is both positive and negative. Grad School will also allow me to grow as an Artist in a classroom setting, which I am comfortable with. The drawbacks are being away from friends and family, cost and living expenses, and time obligations.

4) Get married to some sucker. I do after all live in Utah, and will be 23 by the time I graduate. I am an old maid… but seriously meeting someone and starting a family is alluring, more terrifying than graduating, but alluring nonetheless. If I opt for one of the first three options having a relationship between now and completion of said option is almost impossible… unless he really is a sucker and will just follow me around for the rest of my life. But you and I both know I don’t want that. This option however is not reliable in the slightest. I would have to a) find/discover the sucker b) like him enough to be able to say, “I love you” and mean it c) he would have to like me the same way. And let’s be honest, I’ve never been very good at relationships, I can barely get guys to go on a second date with me, let alone want to marry me and spend the rest of their life with yours truly. Plus there are all the questions.. Am I ready? Could I actually be a Mom? Do I have to drive a mini-van?

5) Graduate and work full time. I could always graduate and immediately work full time and pay of my debts, because I feel like they are spiraling out of control and it’s almost to the point of keeping me awake at night. Maybe If I could sell my car I’d feel better about things… but it just isn’t happening. Blah. Stupid money.

So there you have it. I have no idea what to do with my life, and may be suffering a premature quarter life crisis. I know I don’t have to make any decisions soon, but I hate not being able to foresee the future, and even more than that, I hate not having a plan. Any advice would be appreciated… Have a good’un.

I like my beat down low and my top let back

Scott says:
so i just scanned my face on the copier and sent it to my roommate
Mallory says:
wait are you going to send it to me?
Mallory says:
i wish we had a scanner
Scott says:
it’s just a big copier that can scan things too
Mallory says:
well. i wish i had one.
Scott says:
so
Scott says:
uhm
Scott says:
apparently it puts a copy of what ever i send in the ’sent’ folder of my bosses email
Scott says:
hmmm

Have a good’un

Good things are never gonna be quite what you want

So there is one day left of the detox after today, and I have to say I am quite proud of myself for sticking to it for 7 days straight. So take that all you naysayers. Okay nobody was really a naysayer… and yeah it was just a diet but still. I’m proud of myself. And I feel really good, so stop judging me.

Having said that I am not as high on life as I was during my last post. While I was claiming to have had some sort of epiphany, I think I was borderline batshit insane. So there you go. So yeah, I’m not unhappy as my last post led on, but thank you to those who were concerned. Mostly I meant I need to be doing something more worthwhile with my life, because I feel like everything I’m doing right now is a result of selfish motives? Does that even make sense? whatever. I’m sorry I even brought it up.

In other news, the east coast has been hammered by storms. Normally I wouldn’t really care, however this time IT’S PERSONAL. My good friend Kevin is stranded due to cancelled flights and that? sucks. Not only does this mean I can’t go to his house to watch random TV shows, but I’ve been left to entertain myself (translation: pester Sarah and Dave until they ignore me) since last Friday. Believe me, it makes for long work days.

Finally, I feel like I should say something about the tragedy that occurred Monday night at Trolley Square Mall. I’ve been thinking about it a lot, and still have no idea what to say. I don’t know if I’ve ever mentioned it or not, but I’ve witnessed a shooting and that was the worst day of my life. I can’t even begin to explain how terrifying it is to feel like your life is in danger because of a lunatic with a gun. My heart goes out to all those involved.

Have a good’un