Here I stand, Sad and Free

I found this in my journal from a few weeks ago-

Things that make me happy:
Having a plan for the future
Calling Kevin “pervert”
Music, specifically live bluegrass
Crazy old men
Mikey’s George W. Bush impression
Becca’s laugh
Drunk-dancing Jake
Justin Timberlake music videos
Best Friends
Art
What the hell does rant mean
Jump balls
lists
Roller coasters
Springtime
Original NES games, and emulators on that note
Mortal Kombat, Super Mario World, Donkey Kong Country

Hmmm. Life can be so fickle sometimes.

When everything is wrong I’ll come talk to you

So I’ve been thinking about what to say in this post for about three weeks now, and I still sorta have no idea what to say. I do however want to post it before tomorrow, so here I am.

When I was in high school my lovely friend Cynthia told me about the “cute new boy” in her newspaper class. His name was Scott and little did I know at the time, but the cute new boy would become a lifelong friend.

From filling pumpkins full of goop to talking via myspace while on his mission, some of my all time favorite memories involve Scott. I’m so lucky to have him as a friend and I don’t think I tell him that enough. He’s been there for me through so many hard times including issues with my dad (Both his addictions and death), issues with friends, and my never ending issues with boys. Even when I know I’m being redundant and irritatingly insecure he’s always there to listen and give sound advice. He’s never passed any sort of judgment and for that I am eternally grateful. Tomorrow he’s getting married and I am so happy and excited for him.

Here’s to you buddy.

We are the Dateless losers..

Proof on why I am, always have been and always will be single…

Mallory says:
If I wrote you a symphony just to say how much you mean to me…. what would you do?
Dave says:
panic

Please note that Dave is married and isn’t a jerk. However it proves a point nonetheless.

It’s okay for you to care, cuz I’m not going anywhere

As mentioned before, many times, I love Ben Lee. So. Much.

im walking down broadway
each footstep is a new love letter
im trying to make eye contact
with each and every stranger that i pass
im thinking about the city
its living proof people need to be together
im thinking about how i just wanna open up
and give and give and give

and its ok for you to care
cos i can feel you in the air
and while you wonder
how’s this gonna end
i only wanted to begin

im thinking about desire
ive had to learn how to sin successfully
im thinking about bliss
and bliss is all dressed up and there’s no one to dance with
remembering her smile
and the nuclear bomb and the reasons i loved her
im walking through central park
im in a foreign country and im waiting for a sign

and its ok for you to care
cos im not going anywhere
and while you wonder
if you should let me in
i only wanted to begin

im still singing
twisting new melodies, breaking arrangements
im thinking about my heart
i guess youve heard, sometimes its heavy
but i just keep moving
when i hit a wall i look up at the sky
im thinking about my maker
and despite all this i know she wont give up on me

and its ok for you to care
cos i can taste you everywhere
and while its true all straight things must bend
i only wanted to begin

It’s All Smoke in Mirrors

I’m sorry I haven’t been blogging, I have been busy with the whole finals thing. But stay tuned coming up: My ode to Scott, My final project, The Summer list, and probably some random rants about how boys are retarded. No offense.

Anywho, I have to go dry my hair and eat pizza.

Teriyaki Boyz in the place to be

So it’s finals, and I’m busy. But I need to ask you a question- Do you like teriyiaki sauce? Please comment below.

To get to you I’d walk a thousand miles

So Cynthia and I have been friends since the forth grade. We’ve been through tons together, including two or three World Wars, The Backstreet Boys, Weston Crockett, and panties that might be too small.

Anyway, while we used to be inseparable nowadays our visits are few and far between and we mostly keep in touch via MSN messenger. Tonight we talked a bit about boys, relationships and their lameness.

Cynthia says:
people who are in love are irritating they are just…so happy
Cynthia says:
and THEY ALWAYS SMILE
Cynthia says:
its like you want to just pull their hair and tell them to stop smiling so much

Its nice to know that even though we don’t talk everyday, haven’t colored in coloring books for quite some time, and no longer make animations about killing people on her computer its nice to know that we’re still basically the same person.

She’s like so whatever

So I think it goes without saying, I, Mallory Qualls, don’t like Avril Lavigne. Now I realize that not everyone has the same taste as me, and I realize that I “hate everything” but seriously, her new song makes me want to kick her in the throat. Repeatedly. Until she’s just a bloody headless stump.

Anyway yesterday while driving to the darkroom, her new song “Girlfriend” came on the radio. Now as many have pointed out, I could have changed the radio station, but for some reason yesterday at approximately 5:37 PM I could not bring myself to change the station. It was like a train wreck, I wanted to look away, but just couldn’t. Seriously though, look at these lyrics..

She’s like so whatever
You could do so much better
I think we should get together now
And that’s what everyone’s talking about!

[Chorus]
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I don’t like your girlfriend!
No way! No way!
I think you need a new one
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I could be your girlfriend
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I know that you like me
No way! No way!
No it’s not a secret
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I want to be your girlfriend

I can see the way, I see the way you look at me
And even when you look away I know you think of me
I know you talk about me all the time again and again
So come over here, tell me what I want to hear
Better yet make your girlfriend disappear
I don’t want to hear you say her name ever again
(And again and again and again!)

Maybe I hate this song because I have been known to have irrational crushes on boys with girlfriends. No, I’m pretty sure I just hate it because ITS THE MOST IRRITATING SONG OF ALL TIME. Move over Fallout Boy. You’ve been replaced. Also, whoever “you” are; you should not leave your current girlfriend for Avril Lavigne, she’s married, to the boy from Sum 41. God help those poor poor children.

What if? Don’t even think it

So far this week my brain has sounded like the song Rosetta Stoned by Tool. Its on the 10,000 Days album in case you were wondering. Mostly its a song with a lot of incoherent rambling.. Needless to say I haven’t really had the desire to blog, but I feel like I should or something. So here I am.

Nothing too new to report, I’ve been feeling kind of bored with everything again this week. I want it to be summer time, even though I’m not ready for the semester to end. I can’t believe that I’ve already been in the photography dept for a year. I always think its interesting to look back to where I was “last year at this time.”

I feel like I’ve grown in quite a few ways. I’ve solidified a couple of really important friendships, grown as an artist, become a better blogger, and made a ton of new, close, friends. However I feel like in other aspects I’m in exactly the same place. Last night Marci and I went for chai. We basically had the same conversation we had last year at this time, and again came to the exact same conclusion. The results of the talk are the same, I feel better about life, and we’re gonna make another summer list.

I can’t help but wonder what I’m doing to end up in the same place at the same time year after year. Maybe I should ask Ben Lee, he always seems to understand.

I’m Every Woman…

Sarah says:
what’d you wear?!
Mallory says:
my black wrap around dress with black pumps
Sarah says:
hot
Sarah says:
hee you said pumps.
Sarah says:
i never thought i’d see the day…
Sarah says:
hee hee hee
Mallory says:
I’m slowly developing in to a woman.
Mallory says:
slowly but surely
Sarah says:
like a caterpillar becomes a butterfly.
Sarah says:
hee
Mallory says:
wait
Mallory says:
does this mean my current state is lumpy and green?
Sarah says:
lol
Sarah says:
no
Sarah says:
it means you’re in a cocoon
Sarah says:
made up of vomit
Mallory says:
ew
Mallory says:
I’m blogging that by the way.
Sarah says:
YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Sarah says:
EAT THAT, SCOTT