So I’m pretty sure yesterday I had my first ever nervous breakdown. Awesome huh? Having said that, just wanted to warn you that for the next few weeks I may be the following:
1) Bitchy
2) Apathetic
3) Annoyed
4) Crying
5) Laughing hysterically
6) Shaking… like hand tremors?
7) Comatose
Cursing Joe
9) Cursing money
10) you get the general idea.
I’m blogging this right now because i am momentarily sane. However stand by for manic text messages, depressive IM’s and all that jazz.
Mallory says:
I just wrote “for porn: On demand>hbo>hbo specials>adult” on my notebook.
My final this semester should be interesting…
I just set my alarm for 5:00 AM. woe. is. me.
Only two more weeks of the never-ending semester of busy-ness. I suppose it isn’t never-ending, what a foolish adjective to use.
As the semester ending draws near, I grow weary of mathematics, creating “deep” art, and my constant love-hate relationship with my single state.
I had fantastic ideas when i set out to post this blog, but somehow all of those ideas have fallen out of my brain. Oh well at this point you should come to expect this shoddy work. Thanks for being so cool
Oh yeah! I breathed the same air as Tool this weekend, always a religious experience. The concert was great, but Maynard James Keenan seemed to be feeling the same apathy that I have been suffering from all semester. Maybe I was just imagining things, but I like to think that we are on the same creative wavelength.(Yeah right.) During the concert I started daydreaming that he somehow discovered my work and wanted me to create work for TOOL… Stop judging me.
The daydream where MJK discovers my artistic genius after sweeping me off my feet, actually lead to some pretty cool ideas for my artistic future. I might be on the brink of something big. But I need to learn how to work with video…
Now if you’ll excuse me, MJK* is about to beg me to take him back.
*note to Maynard James Keenan: if for some reason you read this blog, please stop judging me. I promise I don’t smell like BO, and if you’d just expand your mind you’d see that if we collaborated, the results would be ENDLESS.
So in case you were wondering what I’ve been up to lately in the arts world, this is a project from earlier this semester. It’s a light box. The image that the light is shining through is an actual photograph printed on glass. It’s pretty awesome if i do say so myself. Not necessarily the print, or the box, but the mere fact that I printed a photograph ON GLASS. Unfortunately it’s really expensive so i don’t think I’ll be doing much more with it right now… but in the future, I think I will really get into using Liquid Light.
TO DO:
1) Come up with and execute a kick ass idea for my final in photography
2) Come up with and execute a kick ass idea for my final in digital imaging
3) Make one million dollars in 2 weeks
4) Okay fine maybe 2 thousand?
5) Study for multiple finals
6) Change the layout of www.nothingcreativetoday.com and www.malloryqualls.com. I am jealous of Jeremy and Jen’s layouts.
7) Sneeze
Do all sorts of Utah-PAC stuff.
Sorry about the boring post, i’m a teensy bit busy this week, and will be for the next few. However you may be pleased to find out that I am not taking a holiday job. I will be devoting the month in between semesters to fun. Hopefully I’ll still have friends to play with…
This little shack is now for sale– or rather the property. No one would pay much for the shack! But it has been the most important building in Glendale! the “for sale” sign marks the end of an epoch– the beginning of another. No tears can be wasted over a change: all changes are important
-Edward Weston
Another reason why I don’t go to BYU.
Mallory says:
hows Geology?
Scott says:
we’re learning about earthquakes
Mallory says:
ooooo
Mallory says:
and plate techtonics?
Scott says:
kind of
Scott says:
our teacher says that earthquakes happen when god gets mad at gay people
Deep thoughts from Jeremy Jacobson
“A washcloth is just a square scarf”
“We were forbidden to listen to AM radio stations growing up”
“Did you know that 20 babies fit into a tire? 40 if you blend them up”
“How many lesbians turn out to be urologists? That’s a slippery slope.”
I went to a Ben Lee concert last night and it was just what I needed. I have been having a really bad creative block all semester and this past week I finally started coming out of it and it’s awesome!
I love Ben Lee shows, I always leave wanting to experience everything. Carey Brothers opened for him, and put on a phenomenal set. I wish i could articulate how great shows make me feel. I love the feeling of being creatively charged. Ben Lee especially has a way of looking at the world and seeing it for its beauty, which can be really hard at times.
I wish I were more like that.
His shows are always full of good feelings. From the obvious camaraderie between he and fellow tour-mates, to the feeling you get from the crowd, the results are always positive. This is the third Ben Lee show I’ve been to, and every time I am blown away by how nice and friendly the crowd is. Maybe it’s because it’s always small, so a certain anonymity is lost, but I like to think its because they subscribe to similar beliefs i do. After all we’re all in this together.
Lately I feel like I am always filled with aggression, irritation, or shame and frankly? I’m sick of it. While watching the set and the crowd last night it occurred to me (again and again) that my feelings are completely self inflicted. If I experience this world by judging others, fearing judgement, and and focusing on everything that is wrong, I’m never going to be happy, I’ll just be filled with insecurity and resentment.
I want my life to be like his. I want to travel the world on a tour bus and spread happiness. Yeah yeah, I’m not a musician and I’ll probably never get to experience that first hand, But I am an artist and I can spread similar feelings through my work. I want to see everyone and everything for its beauty.
And I will.
So when you think to yourself “I should blog” and the first two titles that come to mind are Kelly Clarkson and Green Day lyrics, it is time to reasses. (no offense, I like her too. but not in the her-music-is-so-deep-and-she-totally-gets-me sort of way.)Luckily I found a Shins lyric. (Thanks ZB.)
Internet, I am driving myself crazy. Why is it that every November I come off this awesome “I’m so independent” or “I am unstoppable” high to land face first in a “tee-hee I like boys” attitude? Like really? What happened to Miss Independent?
She didn’t fall in love that’s for sure.
So what will happen next? I’ll spend the next month or so dwelling over meetings that are essentially meaningless. I’ll annoy the crap out of Sarah, Marci,and Jeremy by telling them every last irritating detail, like how he likes his coffee or what his shoe size is. I’ll have a daily meeting with Scott so he can decipher what this and that means, and convince him to convince me that he actually likes me. I’ll probably write a journal or something to keep me from blogging about it and embarrassing myself. Then he’ll tell me I’m his best friend. And then comes the crying.
At least the girls will bring me Tagalog ice cream and Jeremy and Becca will take me rummaging in Orem.
So my question is, WHY DO I KEEP DOING THIS TO MYSELF? Honestly? I do this over and over and over. I know that I’m happiest when I’m single, I know that I hate having ridiculous “crushes.” I know that I am annoying, yet I can’t stop. I? am a walking contradiction.
And I don’t know what to do.
