Fake it for a while, bite your tongue and smile

So when you think to yourself “I should blog” and the first two titles that come to mind are Kelly Clarkson and Green Day lyrics, it is time to reasses. (no offense, I like her too. but not in the her-music-is-so-deep-and-she-totally-gets-me sort of way.)Luckily I found a Shins lyric. (Thanks ZB.)

Internet, I am driving myself crazy. Why is it that every November I come off this awesome “I’m so independent” or “I am unstoppable” high to land face first in a “tee-hee I like boys” attitude? Like really? What happened to Miss Independent?

She didn’t fall in love that’s for sure.

So what will happen next? I’ll spend the next month or so dwelling over meetings that are essentially meaningless. I’ll annoy the crap out of Sarah, Marci,and Jeremy by telling them every last irritating detail, like how he likes his coffee or what his shoe size is. I’ll have a daily meeting with Scott so he can decipher what this and that means, and convince him to convince me that he actually likes me. I’ll probably write a journal or something to keep me from blogging about it and embarrassing myself. Then he’ll tell me I’m his best friend. And then comes the crying.

At least the girls will bring me Tagalog ice cream and Jeremy and Becca will take me rummaging in Orem.

So my question is, WHY DO I KEEP DOING THIS TO MYSELF? Honestly? I do this over and over and over. I know that I’m happiest when I’m single, I know that I hate having ridiculous “crushes.” I know that I am annoying, yet I can’t stop. I? am a walking contradiction.

And I don’t know what to do.

Such a mess, I’m over this, over this

This weekend has been awesome.

I need to start blogging more often so I can just tell random stories, but I don’t think that will happen any time soon. Blogging sporadically is sort of hard because you always feel like you have so much to say but when you finally sit down to do it, all of your ideas vanish from your memory and you are left with nothing to talk about except how you feel like you need to blog… So instead, here is a list of things going on in my life in case you were wondering.

1) I am dating someone, He is very nice, and I’m rather fond of him. And now I’m embarrassed, so that’s all I’m going to say.
2) I’m the Secretary for the photo club and I get to maintain the website. It’s exciting. We’re gonna plan a trip. And show our work. It’s all very awesome.
3) I have resolved to go to the gym at least on Tuesdays, Thursdays, Saturdays, and Sundays. Because have you seen me lately? Damn.
4) Yesterday was the BEST SATURDAY EVER Part Two, Becca’s Birthday Edition. It was fun. I am so glad it is no longer May. Also, I’m really glad that things are finally getting back to normal. Despite the never ending drama that refuses to leave me alone.
5) Today I am getting my car detailed, and I’m very excited about that.
6) I’m also doing laundry, which really needs to be done.
7) I am pretty sure I want to move to Seattle. I went there for a short trip last weekend, and I’ve never felt so at home in a city. With grad school coming up, I’m seriously considering Washington as one of my options.
I don’t have enough time for anything and have basically given up sleep… So if you see me and my eyes are all bloodshot and red, I know. I know.
9) I haven’t consumed any sort of soda pop for like 7 weeks. I’ve never felt better. Sugar? does not like my body. Also? I’m not nearly as tired as i thought i would be. however…
10) I have found a new love for coffee and tea. Yum.

Okay that’s all I have in my brain currently… now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go come up with a 20 minute presentation due in approximately 48 hours…

So let’s run let’s run let’s run

I just finished running my first ever 5K and I’m sort of proud of myself. Granted it’s no marathon, I’m still quite pleased that I committed to something involving athletics and actually came through to accomplish it.

I just wanted to thank everyone who’s helped keep me motivated. Without further ado…

Thanks Becca for suggesting that we do it, I hope that we do it again!
Thanks Scott for keeping me motivated by asking me about my progress all the time. Also thanks for answering my endless questions.
Thanks Sarah, Lisa, Jake and Becca’s parents for showing up this morning you guys are all awesome!
Finally Thanks Mikey for training with me!

The dashboard melted but we still have the radio

5:00 AM: My phone’s alarm clock goes off. The girls just left like four hours ago, and it’s time to get up
5:03 AM: Let The Duke out, force him to come back in, he was chasing a bird…
5:05 AM: Fight The Duke to take his vitamin, he likes to pretend that he’s swallowed the little blue pill, but never does.
5:08 AM: The Duke finally swallows the pill
5:30 AM: Leave for Becca’s.
5:37 AM: Panic, I’m out of gas and my car keeps beeping.
5:45 AM: Arrive safely to Maverik, 37.40 for a tank of gas? I wish I was dead.
6:05 AM: Make it to Becca’s without getting lost. Still five minutes late though. Damn, guess I’m not the punctual one after all.
6:20 AM: Stop at my house to get shoes and a jacket. Scare the crap out of my mom. Drop off stuff so Mikey can go check up on the Duke while I’m out for the day.
6:37 AM: Becca asks how long till we get there, I say about 30 mins.
7:00 AM: Get off the freeway. Orem is under construction. Bizarro-world is even more bizarre this morning.
7:15 AM: Arrive to Jeremy’s apt complex. Find a parking spot. Text Jeremy
7:16 AM: Jeremy walks out to the car, my my my, it’s good to see my friend.
7:17 AM: Drive around the wacky world of Orem. Becca tells us stories about the various buildings on the way. She used to work at Savers. Seriously could she be any cooler?
7:25 AM: Jeremy and Becca start talking about some viaduct or something. Apparently its a landmark. Lots of round abouts. I try really hard not to crash or get a speeding ticket.
7:30 AM: Arrive to the Village Inn. Still feeling sick due to events occuring earlier in the week.
8:30 AM: Head to Becca’s parents’ house.
8:45 AM: Arrive to the house of Becca’s past. Meet her parents and two dogs, Ollie and Betty. Ollie is no Betty. Still feeling a little queasy but so excited to be hanging out. Becca’s mom is really nice and loves gardening. She should be friends with my Mom. They could talk gardening. We snag the paper and go garage sailing. I’m totally starting the summer list before August this year and I’m proud of myself.
9:15 AM: Find some sweet stuff. Try to buy a cane for Mikey. They’re not for sale. In fact nothing in this garage is for sale. I get whacked with a cane, so i kick some throats.
10:30 AM: I told you Orem was bizarre, they have drive through gas stations. We order Dr. Pepper, Pepsi, water and a bag of sunflower seeds. The girl at the window thinks I’m batshit insane. She’s probably right.
11:11 AM: We visit Savers. I find a sweet scarf and trivial pursuit the 90s edition. Decide to only get the scarf. Jeremy finds an awesome couch and a cool camera. I should have purchased the camera but didn’t.
12:15 PM: Visit a local pet store. I recognize the shopping center, it has a UPS Store. A little person works at the store out there. Seriously. We look at the animals. Becca thinks about getting a turtle. I text Lisa and Marci asking them about their turtles and what they eat. Ms. Petunia eats meal worms, Mikey eats pellets.
12:35 PM: Drive around some more. Recognize another shopping center. It has a UPS Store. Stumble upon a super garage sale at an elementary school. Find some cool shirts, fall in love with everyone looking through the used items.
1:13 PM: Everyone needs to wazz. Becca and I hear each other wazz for the first time. We’re gonna be friends forever.
1:15 PM: Go to lunch, Osaka. Its tasty. I eat my entire meal. Haven’t done that for over a week. Hmmm. Things will be okay. Jeremy takes pictures of us. We sort of hate him, but oblige. After eating we lounge in a secret lounge. Take more pictures. Decide to go to the book store for books and caffeine.
2:30 PM: Drive to the book store. Recognize a few land marks while driving, including a restaurant i went to with Scott and Virgina a few months ago. I felt informed.
2:35 PM: Wander aimlessly around Barnes and Noble. Lose Jeremy. Find a cool new address book. Jeremy and Becca both decide to buy journals. Hope they like them as much as I love mine. Sit down to talk. Accidentally swear in Orem. Get a dirty look. Leave, look for candy, no such luck. Head back to Becca’s
3: 30 PM: Becca’s Mom plays from the music Jeremy bought at one of the garage sales, then plays Chopin. It was beautiful. She and Becca play a song from their past. It was like watching a memory. I marvel at how welcoming she was to me. Ollie is still no Betty, but he’s pretty damn cute. I don’t want the day to end.
4:30 PM: Drop Jeremy off at his apt. I’m sad to see him leave. We wave goodbye.
4:35 PM: Orem is still in shambles, we can’t find freeway on ramp
5:15 PM: Finally make it to the Salt Lake Valley. Drop Becca off at Jake’s parent’s house.
5:17 PM : The best Saturday ever is over. I have to make a phone call and return to reality, how will I survive? Oh yeah, we’re doing this again next month.

Here I stand, Sad and Free

I found this in my journal from a few weeks ago-

Things that make me happy:
Having a plan for the future
Calling Kevin “pervert”
Music, specifically live bluegrass
Crazy old men
Mikey’s George W. Bush impression
Becca’s laugh
Drunk-dancing Jake
Justin Timberlake music videos
Best Friends
Art
What the hell does rant mean
Jump balls
lists
Roller coasters
Springtime
Original NES games, and emulators on that note
Mortal Kombat, Super Mario World, Donkey Kong Country

Hmmm. Life can be so fickle sometimes.

Save us all, Tell me life is beautiful

So… I would like to thank all my loyal friends who read my blog. Its nice to know I’m missed when I don’t post. So thank you. Each and every one of you. I haven’t been posting so much because my life has become suddenly boring… Just school and work, with the occasional social call here and there… but nothing too exciting to write about.

Do you wanna know what IS exciting though? My adorable friend Becca has a blog. You should take a gander because A) she might be the nicest person i know B) She has AWESOME taste that I envy almost every day and C) She likes both the Muppets AND Bill Nye the Science Guy. So go look at it.

Alright kids I’d better end this post now. But before I leave please take note that Dave is perfect. Men want to be him and women across the world desire to be with him. I am truly blessed to have him in my daily life.

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Have a good’un