I suddenly realized, we’re all in this together.

I went to a Ben Lee concert last night and it was just what I needed. I have been having a really bad creative block all semester and this past week I finally started coming out of it and it’s awesome!

I love Ben Lee shows, I always leave wanting to experience everything. Carey Brothers opened for him, and put on a phenomenal set. I wish i could articulate how great shows make me feel. I love the feeling of being creatively charged. Ben Lee especially has a way of looking at the world and seeing it for its beauty, which can be really hard at times.

I wish I were more like that.

His shows are always full of good feelings. From the obvious camaraderie between he and fellow tour-mates, to the feeling you get from the crowd, the results are always positive. This is the third Ben Lee show I’ve been to, and every time I am blown away by how nice and friendly the crowd is. Maybe it’s because it’s always small, so a certain anonymity is lost, but I like to think its because they subscribe to similar beliefs i do. After all we’re all in this together.

Lately I feel like I am always filled with aggression, irritation, or shame and frankly? I’m sick of it. While watching the set and the crowd last night it occurred to me (again and again) that my feelings are completely self inflicted. If I experience this world by judging others, fearing judgement, and and focusing on everything that is wrong, I’m never going to be happy, I’ll just be filled with insecurity and resentment.

I want my life to be like his. I want to travel the world on a tour bus and spread happiness. Yeah yeah, I’m not a musician and I’ll probably never get to experience that first hand, But I am an artist and I can spread similar feelings through my work. I want to see everyone and everything for its beauty.

And I will.

It’s okay for you to care, cuz I’m not going anywhere

As mentioned before, many times, I love Ben Lee. So. Much.

im walking down broadway
each footstep is a new love letter
im trying to make eye contact
with each and every stranger that i pass
im thinking about the city
its living proof people need to be together
im thinking about how i just wanna open up
and give and give and give

and its ok for you to care
cos i can feel you in the air
and while you wonder
how’s this gonna end
i only wanted to begin

im thinking about desire
ive had to learn how to sin successfully
im thinking about bliss
and bliss is all dressed up and there’s no one to dance with
remembering her smile
and the nuclear bomb and the reasons i loved her
im walking through central park
im in a foreign country and im waiting for a sign

and its ok for you to care
cos im not going anywhere
and while you wonder
if you should let me in
i only wanted to begin

im still singing
twisting new melodies, breaking arrangements
im thinking about my heart
i guess youve heard, sometimes its heavy
but i just keep moving
when i hit a wall i look up at the sky
im thinking about my maker
and despite all this i know she wont give up on me

and its ok for you to care
cos i can taste you everywhere
and while its true all straight things must bend
i only wanted to begin

What if? Don’t even think it

So far this week my brain has sounded like the song Rosetta Stoned by Tool. Its on the 10,000 Days album in case you were wondering. Mostly its a song with a lot of incoherent rambling.. Needless to say I haven’t really had the desire to blog, but I feel like I should or something. So here I am.

Nothing too new to report, I’ve been feeling kind of bored with everything again this week. I want it to be summer time, even though I’m not ready for the semester to end. I can’t believe that I’ve already been in the photography dept for a year. I always think its interesting to look back to where I was “last year at this time.”

I feel like I’ve grown in quite a few ways. I’ve solidified a couple of really important friendships, grown as an artist, become a better blogger, and made a ton of new, close, friends. However I feel like in other aspects I’m in exactly the same place. Last night Marci and I went for chai. We basically had the same conversation we had last year at this time, and again came to the exact same conclusion. The results of the talk are the same, I feel better about life, and we’re gonna make another summer list.

I can’t help but wonder what I’m doing to end up in the same place at the same time year after year. Maybe I should ask Ben Lee, he always seems to understand.

Superman is Dead

So I haven’t been doing a very good job at blogging this week and now I am over loaded with possible things to write about, so this post may be a little crazy, a little vague, but really you should come to expect it. Anyways, the campaign is over so my readership will probably drop down to 3 again.

Last night the girls and I went to see Ben Lee. It was so fun, and I’m really glad that I had the chance to see him again. Under the Influence of Giants and Rooney opened for Mister Lee. Under the Influence wasn’t too bad, they were catchy as hell, and fun to dance to. Lisa and I did a pretty good job of chiming in random “woots” “hoo’s” and “doots.” Yeaaah I guess you had to be there.. if you see me in person ask me about it and i will give you a demonstration. Maybe. If you’re lucky. Anyways after the Influence, Rooney came onto the stage. They were pretty awful. I guess they didn’t sound THAT bad, but they were really annoying me and I was afraid that I was going to have a rage blackout and beat some innocent Rooney fan to a bloody unrecognizable pulp. The lead singer was obnoxious and arrogant, he actually let his fans touch his hands, AND waved a huge Rooney flag around, just so we could witness how great he really is. Their set was mediocre with long pauses in between songs. The lead singer didn’t like it when the crowd grew silent during the excessive pauses. There was an overwhelming feeling of “DON’T YOU KNOW WHO I AM!?” coming from that band and it really bugged me (obviously). You were on The OC, Nobody cares, you still suck. After suffering through Rooney, Ben Lee FINALLY came on, dressed in a gold suit. It was pretty sweet. He really puts on a great show, and I would highly suggest seeing him if you get the chance. Tickets are usually pretty cheap since he’s so unknown.

So I’m thinking about starting up another list. I never did finish the summer list, and I think it would be fun to do. if you have any suggestions on things to do leave me a comment. Also brewing in my mind for future posts: Top ten maybe twenty songs, cds, concerts etc. I feel like I have to prove myself after that Backstreet Boys post. Okay I’d better get to work or something. But thanks for stopping by.

They will see us waiting from such great heights-

Today is the last day of my drawing class! WOO HOO NO MORE DRAWING FOR A WHOLE MONTH!! hee I’m so excited for this break. I’m going to spend the break going to the gym and maybe working at my old place of employment The UPS Store. I’m pretty excited to go back, I really miss working there sometimes. I don’t really have a lot to post about today… Hmmm Ben Lee is my music mate for the day (Sorry Dave!) I’ve been listening to Awake is the New Sleep a lot lately, and I have to say, “Ache for you” is an awesome song and I love the lyrics. That’s all. Stop judging me. I CAN IDENTIFY WITH IT OKAY? Geez. Okay this post is strange so I am going to prematurely end it.. But I hope you al have a good’un!

Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

Oooh I have done so much since I last posted.. first of all I FINALLY applied to the U. I have needed to do that for a long time and I finally did yesterday. I talked to a counsler and she said that most of my photo credit should transfer which is a HUGE relief. I am so excited to go there. Last Friday my friends and I went to the Gallery Stroll which is this Really cool thing in Salt Lake every third Friday. All of these galleries stay open super late (until like nine..which is late for galleries) and you can go around and check out different artists and such. I went with Sarah, Jen and Ryan(My newest employee) and we had a blast! We visited 3 galleries and it was really refreshing. I really need to do more “art” type things.. it makes me a happier person.. Anyways.. While we were out strolling we went to a gallery called the New Visions Gallery which is currently calling for submissions. So I have decided to submit. I am really excited about it, even if i don’t get accepted, It feels really good to try and do something professionally with my photography. I’ve decided on 10 pictures, most of them have been posted on this site at one time or another.. but if anyone is interested in seeing them let me know.. It makes me feel special when people do… hee. in the last few weeks I have also learned how to drive a manual transmission! I am super excited.. next saturday I am going to go test drive the bmw and then hopefully that wednesday or thursday I am FINALLY going to purchase it. I am really looking forward to having a car thats door opens from both the inside and the outside.. I am also excited about keeping the rain OUTSIDE of the car.. My brothers still aren’t too happy about me deciding to purchase the car, but oh well.. I have researched it so much and i feel really good about it. Man, so much has happened since I last posted and I can’t even think about what to write.. OH!! I saw Ben Lee (If I were you, I would click his name) last tuesday and oh. my. gosh. It was really amazing. I haven’t been to such a good concert in a really long time. It was really refreshing to go to a small venue and not see some halfass punk band playing the same power chord over and over again. For those of you who don’t know who Ben Lee is, he is a singer/songwriter from Australia, he is most commonly known for his work that he did with Ben Folds (another amazing artist). They were in a short lived band called The Bens (Ben Kweller was also in the bens) and only released like 5 or so songs. but back to the concert, everything was jsut really fun. The venue was really dumpy, but still fun. It was basically a big black room with a big wooden 12×72x120 box (the stage). There wasn’t very many people there, so the crowd mentality wasnt that of KILL EVERYONE SO I CAN BE IN FRONT!! which was so refreshing I can’t even begin to talk about it. Sarah and I were probably 2 or 3 rows of people from the front, but we still had ample personal space. Finally, Mr. Ben Lee himself was amazing. His music is really fun, and different. His band was super swanky and all were dressed casual. the whole setting was really intimate and casual which is why I think i liked it so much. They played most of the songs from Awake is the New Sleep (good cd) and some of his older songs as well. He was very personable, he would forget words or randomly stop playing a song just “because”. It was really REALLY fun. Hmm This is a really long entry.. Well I had better go, For tomorrow is easter and I am not at home. Its really strange not being at home on a holiday… Easter just doesn’t seem to be my holiday.. (last year at this time I was moving) okay well kids, Have a good’un!