She don’t use Jelly

Dave says:
um, so I just learned something
Dave says:
the airborne tablet? it’s not a chewable

We are the Dateless losers..

Proof on why I am, always have been and always will be single…

Mallory says:
If I wrote you a symphony just to say how much you mean to me…. what would you do?
Dave says:
panic

Please note that Dave is married and isn’t a jerk. However it proves a point nonetheless.

Save us all, Tell me life is beautiful

So… I would like to thank all my loyal friends who read my blog. Its nice to know I’m missed when I don’t post. So thank you. Each and every one of you. I haven’t been posting so much because my life has become suddenly boring… Just school and work, with the occasional social call here and there… but nothing too exciting to write about.

Do you wanna know what IS exciting though? My adorable friend Becca has a blog. You should take a gander because A) she might be the nicest person i know B) She has AWESOME taste that I envy almost every day and C) She likes both the Muppets AND Bill Nye the Science Guy. So go look at it.

Alright kids I’d better end this post now. But before I leave please take note that Dave is perfect. Men want to be him and women across the world desire to be with him. I am truly blessed to have him in my daily life.

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Have a good’un

Reaching out… touching me… touching you…

So I’m thinking that I should change my blog into conversations only, because those are my funniest times..

Mallory says: SO DAVID
Mallory says: if you were collecting wet naps
Mallory says: and you found one called ‘REFRESHING CLEAN-EZE” would you find that funny?
Dave says: lol
Dave says: I *do* find it funny
Mallory says: okay.
Dave says: (and I’m not even collecting wet naps)
Dave says: why would I collect wet naps?
Mallory says: because you want to have 70 000 of them
Mallory says: duh.
Dave says: of course . . . how silly of me

Have a good’un

Celebrate we will, cause life is short but sweet for certain

So I don’t know what is up with me, but my emotions have been on a roller coaster ride lately. Pretty soon I’m going to start writing emo song songs or something, and that? could be scary.
Without going into too much detail, lets just say I’m lucky to have friends who will throw me black and purple parties, wear du-rags, hang out even if I haven’t seen them for months, and get upset if they think I’m mad at them.

I am so lucky.

Have a good’un.

And I look up at the sky

Not a lot of time to blog today. BUT thanks to Dave (click his name its a legit link this time) I am officially the owner of http://www.nothingcreativetoday.com/. So tell all your friends how cool my site is.

I have also officially posted THE LIST. Feel free to give me suggestions on what I should add to it.

Have a good’un

Where were you when we were getting high?

So… yeah I shouldn’t be allowed near a computer when I only get 2-4 hrs of sleep. (For the past 3 nights..)

Me: hmm the uniform guy just dropped off the uniforms for my technicians.. and his name is Walter. I’ve never known a Walter.. but always wanted to.
D: LOL
D: what about Walter E Disney?
Me: I don’t know him PERSONALLY
D: LOL we’ll have to remedy that
Me: I want a friend named Walter who I can call up and be like “hey wally what’s shakin?” because I mean, who’s life wouldn’t be improved by being able to say that?

Good thing I’m keeping it professional with the campaign. In my embarrassment I related the story to Sarah. To which she replied:

Sarah says: um did you know I have a body part I’ve named wally? because um. I do.
Sarah says: he can be your friend
Mallory says: um. what part is that?
Sarah says: I’m not sure what he is
Sarah says: which is why he is wally?
Sarah says: hee
Mallory says: can I CALL HIM ON THE TELEPHONE AND SAY HEY WALLY WHAT ‘S
COOKIN GOOD LOOKIN?
Sarah says: hee yes
Sarah says: and he’ll be all “hey mally! what’s shakin!”

Clearly the caffeine hasn’t kicked in yet…

Have a good’un