The only difference is what might be is now what might have been

This week I don’t like Monday. It could be because it’s month and year end here at the ICEE company, so everything is sort of chaotic. (read: the internet connection is REALLY slow.) Other causes of the longest Monday in the history of Mondays include a weekend vacation coming up in less than 6 days, perfect temperatures outside, and the fact that my desk may or may not suck the life out of every human who comes into contact with it. 4 more hours until I get to go to class. At least in art history I get to play with my favorite possession of all time… I downloaded a million and one widgets last night. Including one widget that’s a light bright. Yes. A light bright.

Anyway, I wasn’t really planning on whining about Monday’s through this post, I’ve actually been pondering a lot lately which is a pretty big change from the mentality that followed me like a rain cloud over the summer.

It’s nice to be back.

A lot has taken place since last week at this time. I can’t believe how much better I feel having returned to school. I don’t know if its because I am actively thinking on an academic level, or if its just because I am around some really good friends again, but I feel so much better. Going back to school always forces me to look back and see how I have progressed (or digressed) since the semester prior. I’ve been thinking particularly about how much I’ve changed since foundations (drawing and sculpture… You remember all the drawing class rants right?).

This fall I unexpectedly have a class with a pretty good friend from that era. Its so strange to think about how much I’ve changed since learning (“learning”) how to draw with a 1 point perspective in the hallways of the art building 2 years ago. I was coming out of such an awkward phase at the beginning of that semester; I had few friends, hardly any money, and next to no self confidence. I was still dealing with a lot of insecurities stemming from my dad, weight, and over all feeling of not belonging anywhere. But I see now that fall semester of 2005 was a major turning point in my life. It’s puzzling how I can be different, yet still similar to that shadow of the past.

It obviously makes sense, because it is MY past, it’s just interesting how problems and successes morph from one thing to another. It’s also interesting how seeing one person who you basically forgot about can trigger so many memories.

I’m pretty sure this is going to be an awesome year.

They said go to school and be a college kid

So, I sort of hate freshman. And I don’t mean the kind of hate that I frivolously throw around like I frequently do. (IE “I hate you a little bit”, “I hate you the size of a bowling ball” etc) I honestly cannot stand them. I detest them. One could say I even loathe them. Today while in my intro to art history class I sat alone, deserted by one of my favorite classmates. With no one to talk to, I was forced to sit there and listen to the following conversation:

Freshman 1: What did you do this weekend?
Freshman 2: I went to THREE movies ohmygod I am SO lazy!
F1: What movies did you see?
F2: Stranger than fiction, Borat, and Babble. (I’m pretty sure she meant Babel)
F1: BABBLE? The one with Brad Pitt?
F2: Yeah it was really REALLY deep. I think he did it because of his adopted baby and stuff
F1: oh yeah? Isn’t it like Syriana? Like all important and newsy?
F2: yeah it was really confusing though, there were subtitles and stuff
F1: Ugh I HATE subtitles, I mean who goes to a movie to read?
F2: Yeah I know. Since there were so many different languages there was hardly any dialogue. Mostly dramatic music and stuff
F1: Sounds boring and stuff
F2: yeah it was. I hate movies that are self involved like that.

Welcome to higher education.

Have a good ‘un

It might seem like a dream but its real to me

So… Does anyone really play name that tune with the titles of my posts? Just wondering…

Yeah… So… Evidently if you type the words “Pete Ashdown” in your blog, the campaign manager Brett will hunt you down and read your blog. Okay okay, so he doesn’t really “hunt you down” per se, but it’s always pretty shocking when somebody you’ve only known for a few weeks tells you that they stumbled upon your blog. It’s also pretty embarrassing when the post they stumbled upon talks non stop about how “awesome” everything is. I promise I actually have a brain and am participating in the campaign because of my ideological beliefs, not just because everyone there is so “awesome.” Having said that, making new friends there has been a welcome result of my volunteering. Hmm I hope I didn’t make myself look even more stupid… oh well. Whatever. And Brett? Next time you should leave a comment.

Anyways I am no longer house sitting for Darby… Did I tell you I was house sitting? Because I was last week, and it was pretty fun. I’m pretty bummed out that I’m back in Sandy. It was really nice living in Salt Lake. I think I am going to make more of an effort to move out by at least next fall. Stupid Jetta. (Random note: The kid sitting next to me keeps tapping his face and popping his jaw. Friggin weirdo…) Anywho, yeah I want to move out.

Last weekend was pretty AWESOME (I am really insecure about saying that now) I saw a couple shows and it was a really good time. I went to Flogging Molly and I have to say it was a lot better then I thought it would be. I think I scared the crap out of Marci though… Sorry again about that… Friday night as always was girls’ night and as always, it was the highlight of my week. I mean really, nothing gets better than action figures, plastic teeth and crown burger. Wellp… seeing how I am in class I should probably pay attention…
Have a good’un

Futures made of virtual insanity

Do you remember Jamiroquai? Because I do. Anyways. School has officially started! So far I have only attended my two art history classes, and I think that taking them both, back to back, in the same classroom, might be a little brutal. But oh well. At least this way I can actually take a photography class, which I start today. I’m really excited about it, I’m hoping to see more of my friends from last year today. Its kind of a bummer, you get to know a lot of different people when you’re in pre-art, but then after that, you hardly ever see them anymore. My boss’ son is starting pre-art this semester and I have to say, a big part of me is jealous. And as weird as it sounds, I really miss drawing class. I KNOW. I am never satisfied. I think I might go wander around the third floor of the art building just to see if I can run into Tom. Even though, yesterday I ran into my former 3-D teacher, and he didn’t remember me. I hate that.

I was actually talking about this with a friend of mine. For some reason, I am ‘blessed’ with the ability to remember a person’s name and face after the first time I meet them. While I guess its cool to recognize people, oftentimes I feel like I am not very memorable. Whatever. I’m just being insecure I guess. Hmm when I started this paragraph, I felt like I had a lot to say on the topic, but I think that’s really about it, how disappointing…

ANYWAYS.. Summer is officially over, and I have to say, I am quite proud of myself. I accomplished quite a bit off of my list, and as of this morning I had lost 24.2 pounds (I’m only short .8 lbs of my 25 lbs goal) which was pretty cool, because I’ve been working my ass off at the gym. Yeah. KUDOS TO ME. For some reason, Talking about my weight on my blog makes me feel exposed and insecure. So I’m done with that too.. What a disappointing post this has turned out to be. What. Ever.

Well Kiddies, I had better get back to work, but You have a terrrrrific day.
Have a good’un

Pirate captains Log 2002… Who Be this band the Relient K?

Okay. So last fall my friend stupidly told me that he likes the Relient K, so being the music fan that I am, thought I’d check them out. Since Mikey and I are of one brain when it comes to music, we quickly saw the humor in this God-Rock, Church-going band. Anyways, the whole thing has exploded into about 50 or so downloads (including a cover of the Charles in charge theme song in which the lyrics go “Charles I love you (woooah) Love you to the end (ohh) and we love buddy, (woah) cuz he’s your best friend. Lets go hang out, you me and JESUS at your mom’s pizza parlor…” You me and Jesus? Comedy Gold.) Anyways, they’re a really awful band, but their constant reminder that they are Christian never gets old (I said the words I knew you knew, oh God, oh God, I needed you) Anyways I just thought I needed to explain the title of this post . (which comes from the classic “Pirates who don’t do anything”)
In Good music news, You should buy the new Muse CD. Just trust me on this one. I am really hoping that they come to town. Last time they were here I couldn’t go because my Dad’s funeral was the day before and it didn’t feel entirely appropriate to go to a concert the next day.. Anyways… A lot of really good shows are on their way to Utah, including TOOL, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Panic! at the disco, The always great Reel Big Fish, Dave Matthews Band, and Deathcab for Cutie. So far I’m only going to Tool and Red Hot Chili Peppers. I was goign to go to Panic! but the damn show sold out. I’ve seen the other three, and they’re all really good live. Everyone should probably see Dave Matthews Band before they die, and Reel Big Fish put on the funnest shows ever. Yeah I’ve been on a bit of a music kick and have been spending too much money on the habbit. It is all FYE’s fault. If you’re looking for a deal, you may want to check them out. They have been popping up all over the valley and have some killer deals. Anyways. I like Music and you should too.
Have a good’un

Open up my head and let me out

SO FIRST OF ALL… I’m very upset that nobody commented on my pictures because I thought they were friggin funny. DON’T COMMENT NOW ITS TOO LATE! YOU LOSE! Or I do… Anyways.. Its cold in my house. And I am supposed to be drawing right now but of course I’m putting it off to the very last second.. Friggin drawing. 2 more months… So lately I’ve been pondering excessively and its starting to hurt my head. About a week ago I had the following conversation (or something close to it..)

M: How was your weekend?
D: mmm I don’t remember
M: okkayyy…
D: lol- I wasn’t drunk all weekend
M: I didn’t say you were
D: I know you’re judging me…

So while the conversation was friendly and we were just kidding around, it really made me think. I’m not particularly close with D, He knows my dad was an alcoholic and that I don’t drink but I’m pretty sure he doesn’t know why-I’ve been re-thinking my stance on the whole anti-alcohol issue and it’s sort of freaking me out. All my life it’s always been so black and white- drinking=bad sobriety=good. Now I’m finding its not that easy, and that there are a lot of grey areas. I think that I subconsciously think that just because a person drinks that automatically means that they are an addict. While I know that’s not true, I have a hard time believing it. If that makes any sense. I’m not saying that I want to go out and change the way that I live, but I think I need to re-asses how I view people. I don’t want to prematurely judge somebody just because of choices that they make. Just like I would never judge somebody for their religious or political beliefs, I shouldn’t judge people for consuming various substances. It’s just hard for me. I have a really hard time being around people that are intoxicated- The thought of having friends like that terrifies me. Not only because its hard for me to be around, but also it freaks me out to think that I may eventually give in. But just because I’m scared doesn’t mean I should shut people out all together.. Right? I ended a couple friendships last year because of this topic and I’m beginning to wonder if I ended them because of my convictions or because of my fears. Well anyways… If you have any feedback I’d really appreciate it. Have a good’un

Its easy to be…Easy and Free…

So.. Secretly I hope that when people look at the titles of my individual posts they can “name that tune” because more often than not they are song lyrics. Anywho, how are you today? I have had a friggin crazy day, complete with paramedics and police officers. Okay Okay it wasn’t that dramatic, but I did have one crazy train ride. I can’t remember if I mentioned it or not, but this semester I’ve decided to be more eco-friendly and start taking TRAX to and from most of my classes (Except drawing.. Because sometimes I need to go get a chai after that class to make me feel better.. Mmm..Chai…) So today when I arrived to the train platform there was a man laying on the floor surrounded by paramedics. It was really crazy and chaotic. Anyways, the train came and I got on.. After riding past a few stops, the train stopped for an unusual amount of time. (like ten or so minutes) Halfway through, the conductor came over the PA system to tell us that they were having a “legal dispute” on car #3 and that we should be departing shortly.. yeah.. Sometimes the train is crazy. However, I think the train is really interesting. So many different people ride it, and most of them are terrified of human eye contact. Its so funny to watch people when its crowded because people avoid eye contact at all costs. People are weird. Then again, I’m the one who gets hit by railroad crossing arms (don’t ask.) Hmmm what else is going on… Oooh today in my drawing class I totally botched a drawing (surprise surprise) Our latest assignment is to draw a portrait of somebody in our class, which makes things EVEN worse, it’s like not only do I have to worry about it looking good, but now I have to worry that my partner thinks I think they look like what I drew. (does that even make sense?) Oh well, luckily I’m friends with my partner.. But still.. Derek if you read this, I’m sorry. Well kiddos, Its getting late and I still have some hw.. But have a good’un!