My love I love to stay here

Since my plans fell through tonight I thought I’d take some time out and blog since I haven’t done it for a while. I created a masthead. Yeah.. It’s ugly. I’m hoping in time I’ll come up with something cool, but until then just enjoy its purpley awesomeness.

ANYWAY

Lisa and Blake are proud parents this week and it’s blowing my mind over and over.

I’ve been thinking about my dear friend Lisa a lot lately, and I’ve re-realized how happy I am to know her and have her in my life. It’s always good to have friends who you want to be. I’ve gone through life thinking about what I want to do with myself: get my Bachelors, then move away to get my Masters, Work in my chosen profession, meet a cool yet fun guy to marry, have kids in my late twenties etc etc.

I never realized it until this past week that Lisa is living the life that I want to live. And that? is awesome. I’m so glad to have her as a friend.

And SO excited for Nora.

Congrats you guys!

So let’s run let’s run let’s run

I just finished running my first ever 5K and I’m sort of proud of myself. Granted it’s no marathon, I’m still quite pleased that I committed to something involving athletics and actually came through to accomplish it.

I just wanted to thank everyone who’s helped keep me motivated. Without further ado…

Thanks Becca for suggesting that we do it, I hope that we do it again!
Thanks Scott for keeping me motivated by asking me about my progress all the time. Also thanks for answering my endless questions.
Thanks Sarah, Lisa, Jake and Becca’s parents for showing up this morning you guys are all awesome!
Finally Thanks Mikey for training with me!

The Cold Heart Will Burst If Mistrusted First

Yikes!

I’m glad you guys are okay!

Onward Ever Onward

Today my heart is swollen with love for the girls from twolooseteeth and their family. Sarah and Lisa’s littlest brother is preparing to serve an LDS mission so Maac and I decided to drive down to their parent’s house on Sunday to listen to Jeff speak in church. (So. Many. Links.)

The drive was really nice, Marci and I made super mixes to sing along with for the bulk of the trip. Nothing is better than Neil Diamond, Lionel Richie, and Old Gregg while driving through small unknown towns.

The meeting and shin-dig following were both heart-warmingly lovely.

I am so excited for Young Jeffrey and wish him the best of luck!

How will I break the news to you?

A while back I had a conversation with my dear friend Jeremy. We were talking about the girls and the various roles we play. Sarah is the fun outgoing one, Lisa is the smart one, and Marci is of course, the hot one. I referred to myself as the “boring serious one who always makes sure we’re on time.” Because lets face it, I tend to be boring, and you can’t argue my punctuality. He corrected me and told me that I’m the serious introspective one. For some reason that struck me as profound, and since having the conversation I have thought about it a lot. Introspectively of course.

I concluded that I blog because of my “serious introspective-ness.” I also concluded that I really am an artist who is torn up on the inside. It’s kind of neat, because I love blogging almost as much as I love making art, and for some reason it never occurred to me that I love them both for the same reason. I often worry that I don’t take photography as serious as I should because I’m too busy being preoccupied by life’s distractions. Now I know that the two are very much connected.

I think that I wear my life on my sleeve a little too much. I blog about things that are probably too personal for the internet, and I put my personal life into my work. I get it from my Mom. And I’m okay with that. I have been suffering some blogger’s remorse lately, but right now, at this very moment I don’t care. Some blogs are about politics. Mine isn’t. I have decided that my blog is about my creative process as an artist. To create I draw from experiences in my life. I draw from the records kept on this website.

So there you have it. I have become one of those incredibly irritating people who go around proclaiming to the world that they are, in fact, an artist. I don’t think that I am special because of my need to express myself, and I don’t think that my art is particularly great at this point. However this is who I am, and I’m glad to be that person, regardless of who likes me.

I suppose I should come with some sort of disclaimer: Warning! you may be blogged about.

Unintended

On Feb. 19th my Aunt’s mother passed away, and Saturday was her funeral. For some reason I had a really hard time with it. Maybe I was just looking for an excuse to cry, or maybe it brought back really painful memories. This is the first funeral I’ve been to in since October, 2004. It is insane how much you forget, and even more insane is how it all comes back in an instant. Little things like cloth covered folding chairs at the graveside, hearing my Grandfather speak, and family prayers brought back so many memories. I couldn’t help but empathize.

Combine that with some personal drama, and that makes for one overwhelming weekend. While this past weekend was particularly rough, I’m really lucky to know what things will always make me feel better.

• Talking to my Mom at 3:00 AM
• “Dropping by” to certain friends’ house, even if it is at 1 in the morning and they’re not expecting me
• Being able to look back and see how far I’ve come, it’s really empowering sometimes
• New Shoes
• Surprise visits from my family
• Tagalong ice cream. Dude its frigging good.
• New gadgets
• Singing to the radio with Mikey
• Watching stupid TV shows with Mikey
• Eating Ice cream with Mikey
• New Purses
• Spending time with a new friend
• Seeing siblings I don’t see nearly enough
• Spending time with my extended family and realizing it’s importance
• New CDs

Okay, I’ll end my sappy post now… And I’ll start being funny again soon. Thanks for bearing with me.

Have a good’un

Celebrate we will, cause life is short but sweet for certain

So I don’t know what is up with me, but my emotions have been on a roller coaster ride lately. Pretty soon I’m going to start writing emo song songs or something, and that? could be scary.
Without going into too much detail, lets just say I’m lucky to have friends who will throw me black and purple parties, wear du-rags, hang out even if I haven’t seen them for months, and get upset if they think I’m mad at them.

I am so lucky.

Have a good’un.

Uncle Richard, Me, and James Earl Jones

So Lisa just showed me this website. If you feel the urge to buy me some useless junk, feel free to purchase it there.
Have a good’un

Who’s gonna save us?

So I have no reason to post, except I have a song stuck in my head and thought it’d make a good title for a post. So there you have it. This week nothing too exciting has happened, I’ve mostly just been busy with work, school and the campaign. If you’re looking for something funny you might want to check out Sarah and Lisa’s site. They’ve made a commitment to blog every day this month and so far it’s been at my expense (kidding!) but seriously, I WAS FOURTEEN and Nick Carter was so sexy. (hmmm http://www.backstreet.net/ has changed quite a bit since 1999) Anyways for some reason my Backstreet past refuses to leave me alone. Damn the internet, and Damn my love for well sculpted abs. I would like to point out that this isn’t the only time I’ve felt backstreet shame in the past month. the other day I impressed my friend with my extensive knowledge on Lou Pearlman. Now that was embarrassing. Especially since I tried to chalk it up to that reality show that created O-town. I really need to learn to keep things to myself. Anyways…

I guess this post will be about the Backstreet Boys. I’d like to publicly apologize to The Living End for using their lyric and then talking about the Backstreet Boys. In no way do I associate the two together, and would like you, the viewer, to take note that through much trial and tribulation, I have established good taste in music and no longer take part in pop music.

KTBSPA

Have a good’un

Its time for a depressing post! WOO HOO! oh… wait. So yeah, two years ago on Tuesday marks the 2 year anniversary of my Dad’s death. Although, I suppose today could be viewed as the anniversary because it happened on a Sunday. I think its becoming a tradition for me to re-asses and evaluate my life at this time of the year, which is probably a good thing. I think I’ve grown immensely in this past year. Going up to the U and making new friends has changed my all or none attitude that I held so strongly to, and I can’t even begin to tell you how good it feels to not be afraid anymore. Yesterday while at breakfast with Marci, we were talking about how happy we are now socially, and I realized I don’t think I have ever been happier than I am at this current time (knock on wood). Everything is amazing. I love my job. I love School and my major. I love feeling apart of an important campaign. I love my family. I am friends with the most amazing people I have ever met, some who I’ve known since i was in 4th grade, some who have been through things I can’t even imagine, some who are willing to be wacky and fun at one moment, and then drop everything at the next because I need to cry about something, some who I’ve never even met but know I can always count on for anything. I don’t know what I did to be so lucky. but I’m glad that I am.

I still miss my dad every day.

I hate it that things turned out the way they did, and I hate it that he couldn’t get better. I hate it that he’ll never see me succeed, that he’ll never see my first showing. I hate it that he doesn’t know my friends and I hate it that he’ll never know my boyfriends. I hate it that he won’t walk me down the aisle if I ever get married. I hate it that he can’t take Mikey and me camping, or hiking or to the Mountain Men Rendezvous. I hate it because he shouldn’t be dead. I think that everything happens for a reason, but I hate it that its so unfair.

But like I said earlier, I am so lucky to be where I am today.

Have a good’un