Push the envelope, watch it bend.

I just set my alarm for 5:00 AM. woe. is. me.

Only two more weeks of the never-ending semester of busy-ness. I suppose it isn’t never-ending, what a foolish adjective to use.

As the semester ending draws near, I grow weary of mathematics, creating “deep” art, and my constant love-hate relationship with my single state.

I had fantastic ideas when i set out to post this blog, but somehow all of those ideas have fallen out of my brain. Oh well at this point you should come to expect this shoddy work. Thanks for being so cool

Oh yeah! I breathed the same air as Tool this weekend, always a religious experience. The concert was great, but Maynard James Keenan seemed to be feeling the same apathy that I have been suffering from all semester. Maybe I was just imagining things, but I like to think that we are on the same creative wavelength.(Yeah right.) During the concert I started daydreaming that he somehow discovered my work and wanted me to create work for TOOL… Stop judging me.

The daydream where MJK discovers my artistic genius after sweeping me off my feet, actually lead to some pretty cool ideas for my artistic future. I might be on the brink of something big. But I need to learn how to work with video…

Now if you’ll excuse me, MJK* is about to beg me to take him back.

*note to Maynard James Keenan: if for some reason you read this blog, please stop judging me. I promise I don’t smell like BO, and if you’d just expand your mind you’d see that if we collaborated, the results would be ENDLESS.

I suddenly realized, we’re all in this together.

I went to a Ben Lee concert last night and it was just what I needed. I have been having a really bad creative block all semester and this past week I finally started coming out of it and it’s awesome!

I love Ben Lee shows, I always leave wanting to experience everything. Carey Brothers opened for him, and put on a phenomenal set. I wish i could articulate how great shows make me feel. I love the feeling of being creatively charged. Ben Lee especially has a way of looking at the world and seeing it for its beauty, which can be really hard at times.

I wish I were more like that.

His shows are always full of good feelings. From the obvious camaraderie between he and fellow tour-mates, to the feeling you get from the crowd, the results are always positive. This is the third Ben Lee show I’ve been to, and every time I am blown away by how nice and friendly the crowd is. Maybe it’s because it’s always small, so a certain anonymity is lost, but I like to think its because they subscribe to similar beliefs i do. After all we’re all in this together.

Lately I feel like I am always filled with aggression, irritation, or shame and frankly? I’m sick of it. While watching the set and the crowd last night it occurred to me (again and again) that my feelings are completely self inflicted. If I experience this world by judging others, fearing judgement, and and focusing on everything that is wrong, I’m never going to be happy, I’ll just be filled with insecurity and resentment.

I want my life to be like his. I want to travel the world on a tour bus and spread happiness. Yeah yeah, I’m not a musician and I’ll probably never get to experience that first hand, But I am an artist and I can spread similar feelings through my work. I want to see everyone and everything for its beauty.

And I will.

Was it ever worth it?

So… I’ve sort of been obsessed with this song since like May 1. You should love it. Sorry I always talk about Modest Mouse here… but I just cant emphasize how good they really are…

While we’re on the subject
Could we change the subject now?
I was knocking on your ear’s door but you were always out
Looking towards the future
We were begging for the past
Well we knew we had the good things
But those never seemed to last
Oh please just last

Everyone’s unhappy
Everyone’s ashamed
Well we all just got caught looking
At somebody else’s page
Well nothing ever went
Quite exactly as we planned
Our ideas held no water
But we used them like a damn

Oh, and we carried it all so well
As if we got a new position
Oh, and I laugh all the way to hell
Saying yes, this is a fine promotion
Oh, and I laugh all the way to hell

Of course everyone goes crazy
Over such and such and such
We made ourselves a pillar
We just used it as a crutch
We were certainly uncertain
At least I’m pretty sure I am
Well we didn’t need the water
But we just built that go god damn

Oh, and I know this of myself
I assume as much for other people
Oh, and I know this of myself
We’ve listened more to life’s end gong
Than the sound of life’s sweet bliss

Was it ever worth it?
Was there all that much to gain?
Well we knew we missed the boat
And we’d already missed the plane
We didn’t read the invite
We just dance at our wake
All our favorites were playing
So we could shake, shake, shake, shake, shake

Tiny curtains open and we heard the tiny clap of little hands
A tiny man would tell a little joke and get a tiny laugh from all the folks
Sitting drifting around in bubbles and thinking it was us that carried them
When we finally got it figured out that we had truly missed the boat

Oh, and we carried it all so well
As if we got a new position
Oh, and we owned all the tools ourselves
But not the skills to make a shelf with
Oh, what useless tools ourselves

Not Quite Conversation, Somewhere In Between

Oh. My. Gosh.

Do you live in Utah? Because a lot of really good bands are coming over the next little while. Including but not limited to: Incubus, Reel Big Fish, Ben Kweller, THE SMASHING PUMPKINS, Rise Against, Suburban Legends, The Fray, Eisley, The White Stripes, and more.

My life is so awesome right now.

Call me Willy Whistle cause I can’t speak baby

I have a confession.

Sometimes I find pop music to be enjoyable. Sometimes I like to play Justin Timberlake REALLY loud in my car, shake my booty and sing along. Because yes, I know the words. Sometimes I work out to a mix of Backstreet Boys, *Nync, and Gwen Stefani.

I blame the girls. (Thank you)

Before meeting them, I was a huge music snob. I’m not saying that isn’t the case today, but I have learned to enjoy pop music for what it is. Mindless fluff that is fun to dance to. It’s like the Andy Warhol of music… Basically talentless, mass produced crap that is so unoffensive that you can’t help but like it. If I can love Warhol, I can love Kelly Clarkson.

Having said that, I still completely agree with Tif’s post about the decline of quality music found on the airwaves nowadays. Also? I still hate Fallout boy, The Used and My Chemical Romance with the fury of a million suns.

So stop judging me (Jake)! With lyrics like these how can you not laugh? Last time I checked laughing was a good thing. PS, I promise not to post anymore lyrics for at least a week…

New Kids On The block,
had a bunch of hits
Chinese food makes me sick.
And I think it’s fly when girls stop by for the summer,
for the summer
I like girls that wear Abercrombie and Fitch,
I’d take her if I had one wish,
But she’s been gone since that summer
..Since that summer

Hip Hop Marmalade spic And span,
Met you one summer and it all began
You’re the best girl that I ever did see,
The great Larry Bird Jersey 33
When you take a sip you buzz like a hornet
Billy Shakespeare wrote a whole bunch of sonnets
Call me Willy Whistle cause I can’t speak baby
Something in your eyes went and drove me crazy
Now I can’t forget you and it makes me mad,
Left one day and never came back
Stayed all summer then went back home,
Macauly Culkin wasn’t Home Alone
Fell deep in love, but now we ain’t speaking
Michael J Fox was Alex P Keaton

Cherry Pez, cold crush, rock star boogie
Used to hate school so I had to play hookie,
Always been hip to the B-boY Style
Known to act wild and make girls smile,
Love New Edition and the Candy Girl
Remind me of you because you rock my world
You come from Georgia where the peaches grow
They drink lemonade and speak real slow
You love hip hop and rock n roll
Dad took off when you were 4 years old
There was a good man named Paul Revere
I feel much better baby when you’re near
You love fun dip and cherry Coke,
I like the way you laugh when I tell a joke

In the summertime girls got it going on,
Shake and wiggle to a hip hop song
Summertime girls are the kind I like,
I’ll steal your honey like I stole your bike

Bugaloo shrimp and pogo sticks
My mind takes me back there oh so quick
Let you off the hook like my man Mr. Limpet
Think about that summer and I bug, cause I miss it
Like the color purple, macaroni and cheese,
Ruby red slippers and a bunch of trees
Call you up but whats the use
I like Kevin Bacon, but I hate Footloose
Came in the door I said it before,
I think I’m over you but I’m really not sure

Don’t let yourself down

MUSE IS COMING TO UTAH.

Yeah, yeah, I know I went last time they came but I’m really excited about it. Because um IT’S MUSE. Save Tool and A Perfect Circle, Muse is probably the biggest musical influence on my work as a photographer. I don’t really know how to explain it without sounding cheesy, but I want my work to look like what a Muse song sounds like. The way they layer sounds and incorporate lyrics (quality lyrics I might add) is really inspiring to me. Just sayin, Muse is AWESOME, and I’m not the only person who thinks so.

If you’re new to Muse, might I suggest the following songs: Unintended, Cave, Thoughts of a Dying Atheist, Apocalypse Please, Sing for Absolution, Falling away with you, Super Massive Black Hole, Starlight, Soldier’s Poem, Exo-Politics, and Butterflies and Hurricanes. Below are the lyrics to Butterflies and Hurricanes. It’s probably my favorite song of theirs. GO CHECK IT OUT!! AND GET EXCITED!

change,
everything you are
and everything you were
your number has been called

fights,
battles have begun
revenge will surely come
your hard times are ahead

best,
you’ve got to be the best
you’ve got to change the world
and you use this chance to be heard
your time is now

change,
everything you are
and everything you were
your number has been called
fights and battles have begun
revenge will surely come
your hard times are ahead

best,
you’ve got to be the best
you’ve got to change the world
and you use this chance to be heard
your time is now

don’t,
let yourself down
don’t let yourself go
your last chance has arrived

best,
you’ve got to be the best
you’ve got to change the world
and you use this chance to be heard
your time is now

It’s okay for you to care, cuz I’m not going anywhere

As mentioned before, many times, I love Ben Lee. So. Much.

im walking down broadway
each footstep is a new love letter
im trying to make eye contact
with each and every stranger that i pass
im thinking about the city
its living proof people need to be together
im thinking about how i just wanna open up
and give and give and give

and its ok for you to care
cos i can feel you in the air
and while you wonder
how’s this gonna end
i only wanted to begin

im thinking about desire
ive had to learn how to sin successfully
im thinking about bliss
and bliss is all dressed up and there’s no one to dance with
remembering her smile
and the nuclear bomb and the reasons i loved her
im walking through central park
im in a foreign country and im waiting for a sign

and its ok for you to care
cos im not going anywhere
and while you wonder
if you should let me in
i only wanted to begin

im still singing
twisting new melodies, breaking arrangements
im thinking about my heart
i guess youve heard, sometimes its heavy
but i just keep moving
when i hit a wall i look up at the sky
im thinking about my maker
and despite all this i know she wont give up on me

and its ok for you to care
cos i can taste you everywhere
and while its true all straight things must bend
i only wanted to begin

She’s like so whatever

So I think it goes without saying, I, Mallory Qualls, don’t like Avril Lavigne. Now I realize that not everyone has the same taste as me, and I realize that I “hate everything” but seriously, her new song makes me want to kick her in the throat. Repeatedly. Until she’s just a bloody headless stump.

Anyway yesterday while driving to the darkroom, her new song “Girlfriend” came on the radio. Now as many have pointed out, I could have changed the radio station, but for some reason yesterday at approximately 5:37 PM I could not bring myself to change the station. It was like a train wreck, I wanted to look away, but just couldn’t. Seriously though, look at these lyrics..

She’s like so whatever
You could do so much better
I think we should get together now
And that’s what everyone’s talking about!

[Chorus]
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I don’t like your girlfriend!
No way! No way!
I think you need a new one
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I could be your girlfriend
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I know that you like me
No way! No way!
No it’s not a secret
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I want to be your girlfriend

I can see the way, I see the way you look at me
And even when you look away I know you think of me
I know you talk about me all the time again and again
So come over here, tell me what I want to hear
Better yet make your girlfriend disappear
I don’t want to hear you say her name ever again
(And again and again and again!)

Maybe I hate this song because I have been known to have irrational crushes on boys with girlfriends. No, I’m pretty sure I just hate it because ITS THE MOST IRRITATING SONG OF ALL TIME. Move over Fallout Boy. You’ve been replaced. Also, whoever “you” are; you should not leave your current girlfriend for Avril Lavigne, she’s married, to the boy from Sum 41. God help those poor poor children.

Can’t you see all that stuff’s a sideshow?

Drink up baby down
Are you in or are you out?
Leave your things behind
‘Cause it’s all going off without you

Excuse me too busy you’re writing your tragedy
These mishaps
You bubble-wrap
When you’ve no idea what you’re like

So, let go,
let go
Jump in
Oh well, what you waiting for?
It’s all right
‘Cause there’s beauty in the breakdown
So, let go,
l-let go
Just get in
Oh, it’s so amazing here
It’s all right
‘Cause there’s beauty in the breakdown

It gains the more it gives
And then it rises with the fall
So hand me that remote
Can’t you see that all that stuff’s a sideshow?
Such boundless pleasure
We’ve no time for later
Now you can’t await
your own arrival
you’ve twenty seconds to comply

So, let go, so let go
Jump in
Oh well, what you waiting for?
It’s alright
‘Cause there’s beauty in the breakdown
So, let go, yeah let go
Just get in
Oh, it’s so amazing here
It’s all right
‘Cause there’s beauty in the breakdown

We’ll float on good news is on the way

I will have you know, I have already typed up this post… but then through a stroke of bad luck my computer deleted the entire entry. I’ve basically been cursing since noon today, but have now decided to re-post. But I’ll have you know, the first entry was probably better and I am truly sorry that you my dear, dear fans will never get to see it.

First of all Tif has a blog. And you should add that to the list of blogs you check out. She’s pretty cool. She likes sushi and we are going to watch about five hundred thousand movies (give or take a couple) before the summer comes. Anyway, like I said, check it out.

I am still really ticked off that my earlier post was deleted. Grrr

Secondly I’d like to publicly announce that I have had a change of heart when it comes to the band Modest Mouse. When I was in high school somebody told me that Jeremy Beckham loved Modest Mouse. Somebody also told me that Jeremy Beckham listened to music that talks about killing babies or something. For some reason I always chose to believe that the band being referenced was in fact Modest Mouse. Which I suppose it could be, but I’ve recently re-discovered the CD Good News for People Who Hate Bad News, and it is good my friends. So. Good.

I’ll have you know that when the song “Float On” was playing on the radio I wanted to rip my hair out and scratch my eyes until they bled. That song can now be found on my myspace. I feel a little bit of shame, but mostly I am filled with worry. I’m worried that in 2 or 3 years I will be writing another post about some band that I currently hate right now. If I end up writing a post about how I love My Chemical Romance, The Killers, or Fallout boy I may end up hanging myself. Just sayin.

Anyway, You should check out the CD, Its pretty good especially if you are in a bad mood and looking for something to identify with. It is a much healthier alternative to tagalong ice cream, and its more fiscally responsible than going on a shopping spree that you can’t afford. Anyways I’ll put some excerpts from a couple songs at the end of this post.

Have a good’un

(From Ocean Breathes Salty)
The ocean breathes salty, won’t you carry it in?
In your head, in your mouth, in your soul.
The more we move ahead the more we’re stuck in rewind.
Well I don’t mind. I don’t mind. How the hell could I mind?
Well that is that and this is this.
You tell me what you want and I’ll tell you what you get.
You get away from me. You get away from me.
Well that is that and this is this.
Will you tell me what you saw and I’ll tell you what you missed,
when the ocean met the sky.
You wasted life, why wouldn’t you waste the afterlife?

(The World at Large)
I like songs about drifters – books about the same.
They both seem to make me feel a little less insane.
Walked on off to another spot.
I still haven’t gotten anywhere that I want.
Did I want love? Did I need to know?
Why does it always feel like I’m caught in an undertow?